Thursday, September 10, 2009

Dear Asshole on 7th Ave & 35th St.

I'm wearing a red dress, that is correct. No need to keep hollering "girl you wearing a red dress!" at me. I'm glad you know the hues in the color spectrum, way to go! But your slobbering, spit-filled screaming is not impressive. Guess what? I am now seeing red too.

Ooooh, oh okay you're going to follow me for 2 blocks yelping "GIRL I SAID YOU WEARING A RED DRESS! I LIKE ME SOME RED!" Oh, well in that case let's go back to your mama's basement and make ugly little children together. Is that what you'd like me to do?

Wait, what's that you said? You said "I like them boots. You wanna step on me with those boots?" Step on you? I wouldn't even want the dirty soles of my sweet leather shoes to get within 5 feet of your infested, pathetic excuse for a human, self.

And yet again, I feel like I did something wrong by wearing a hot lil' outift in public. I guess cute dresses paired with beautiful booties beg for harassment. Shame on me for liking style.

I wish I took your photo and posted it on one of my favorite websites, but I was to scared to reach into my bag for my phone, fearful that my leaning over would cause a hint more of cleavage to show and then I'd really be begging for your harassment. Right?

I think you dropped your beeper.

Love Always,

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  • At 11:29 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Would love to see you perform this one in monologue class!

    Your pal,

  • At 11:50 PM, Blogger Giulia said…

    Oooh good idea Erin!


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