Monday, September 14, 2009

Dear Kayne,

I think I know what happen. You must have gotten some sort of brain injury when your barber was shaving that facinating swizzle wizzle fo' shizzle paisley haircut onto your head.

You're going for that whole "I have a field maze on my head" look right?


So in the middle of getting that cornfield coiffure, the razor cut too close to your skull slicing off the part of your brain that contains self control. I mean, we all have favorites. We all have people we'd like to win things over other people. But you verbally poo pooed all over Taylor Swifts bright star. In the words of Stepahnie Tanner "how rude!" Take it away Steph...

You said on your blog "I feel like Ben Stiller in "Meet the Parents" when he messed up everything and Robert De Niro asked him to leave... That was Taylor's moment and I had no right in any way to take it from her. I am truly sorry."

Alright fine. Perhaps what's more annoying, is that in addition to putting attention on yourself during Taylor Swifts speech, we are continuing to put attention on you for days (probably weeks, months, oh God years) to follow because now everyone is talking about you! Your name is all over Facebook and Twitter. I heard 4 different conversations about you on the NYC subways today. Even Obama called you a 'jackass.' Wow, you even got the president talking shit!

Wait a minute, maybe that's not a corn field maze on your head! It's an alien created crop circle!

Oh God, did aliens steal the part of your brain that contains self control? Hmm, but ET and ALF were nice dudes. I can't imagine they'd do a mean thing like that.

E.T. just wanted Reeses.

And ALF just wanted cats.

Okay so maybe it wasn't aliens.

Alright I'm sick of talking about this already, hopefully soon everyone else will be too.

Don't fret, I still like some of your songs n' stuff. Cause I know you were worried and all.

Love Always,

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  • At 7:29 PM, Anonymous elena said…

    in my top 5 of your DD's!
    alf-cats! being heartless!crop mazes! awesome1


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