Tuesday, October 06, 2009

Dear Skinny Thing With Lots Of Legs That Ran Along My Wall,

Where the fuck did you go?! By the time I got the Raid and broom you disappeared behind something. I fear my hand will find you in a book on my shelf or my bare foot will find you in a shoe in my closet. Gross! Gross! Gross! Ew! Ew! Ew!

Why do you and all your friends think you have the right to just waltz into anyones home and violate their space? I know some people think I shouldn't kill you. That we are technically on "your turf" but last time I checked Mr Critter, your name wasn't on the lease.

At the very least, please don't creep up on me while I sleep. My biggest fear is waking up with you or someone like you resting on my face.

I must go shower and cry now.

Love Always,

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